Most tour planners have things completely backwards. They think it’s best to show you as much stuff as possible. This is true until you reach the terrible tipping point of “Drive-By Touring” where people move from the delight of immersion in new things to a really wretched state of annoyance from not being able to absorb anything properly before turning the corner. That aggravation turns darker once it sinks in that you’re now stuck on a bus with an agenda that will waste a couple days of your life. Here are some rules of tour planning if you want any of your fellow-travelers to recommend you, and maybe travel with you again someday:
1. Edit! Edit! Edit!
This is the foundation of every good tour plan. Tour planners who ram every awesome thing, every great thing, and every good thing into the schedule probably can’t avoid the dreaded drive-by. Get rid of all the good stuff. ALL of it. Leave only the awesome stuff and the great stuff. And you should even have the discipline to get rid of the great stuff if you only have a little time.
2. Answer the Three Big Questions
The basic value equation of touring is this: I will give you my tour fee, and I’ll give you several days of my time (which are probably several times more valuable than the tour fee). In exchange, you will give me the opportunity to create valuable things (images, words, or video) that help me carry the things I’ve seen and learned long into the future. Time is the great multiplier of value. The longer I can carry something good with me, the greater I benefit. So the tour should be filled with copious opportunities to answer “yes” to these Three Big Questions:
Can I Shoot It?
A large part of the human brain is dedicated to visual imagery. Anyone with a camera (including their phone) should have many opportunities to capture images.
Can I Tweet It?
OK, so Twitter is my method of taking notes. If you don’t do Twitter, this means “is the story being told pithy enough and useful enough that I’ll want to write down the things being said?“
Can I Tape It?
Video footage is the third important category of media to capture. The story-telling standard is the same as for notes, and there’s another limitation as well: is the place well enough lit and have enough visual interest to be worth taping?
3. Take the “No Drive-By Pledge”
Drive-By Touring is that miserable event when the tour guide describes something as you drive by. It fails the test of all three of the big questions. You can’t get a decent photo. You can’t tweet what the tour guide is saying if you’re trying to crane your neck to see the stuff as it whizzes by. And videos of a drive-by is as bad as the lowest of YouTube, and far worse than the most disgusting B movie ever screened. If I wouldn’t pay $5 to watch one of them, why would I pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for a tour filled with drive-bys? Simply put, if you have enough respect for my time to take the No Drive-By Pledge, I’ll consider traveling with you. If not, there’s no chance. It’s that simple.
4. Get Off the Bus!
This is the obvious corollary to #3. The bus is your transport. It gets you from one place to another, at which point you must get off the bus and get immersed in the place. Photos taken through shaded and reflective bus windows while in motion are typically wretched, and almost always useless. And discussions held over the bus PA system usually leave much to be desired, especially with all the background noise. And the person standing in the aisle speaking to the riders would likely be killed in a significant crash.
5. Stop Crisply
I’m all for getting immersed in as much stuff as possible, which requires crisp stops. At every stop, the tour guide should announce (once the bus comes to a halt) “it is now 10:37 (or whatever). The bus will pull out at 11:15.” Some people inevitably wander off photographing, grabbing a coffee or whatever, so the departure time needs to be crystal-clear.
6. Issue Press Passes
The press isn’t what it used to be. Today, there are likely at least 2-3 dedicated bloggers or other New Media people on every tour. Issue us press passes. You should probably give us free tickets, but the most important thing you can do is to provide us with an extra seat for our gear bag so we can work on our blog posts, photography, or whatever as we travel. Help us help you. Do this, and you’ll probably get some good New Media press. Make us grumpy, and you might be making the same mistake as those who fought with people who bought ink by the barrel in the newspaper era.
7. Train Your Local Guides
Local guides might be expert on local issues, but they may not be expert tour guides. And they almost certainly don’t know your expectations. So tell them. Feel free to send them to this list. Or take these ideas and make your own list. But whatever you do, make sure they understand that there are only two legitimate things they can do with that microphone: tell us about what we’re about to get off the bus and see, or tell a story that’s so useful and inspiring that we quit the hopeless task of trying to properly see stuff whizzing by and start tweet-casting or taking notes on what they’re saying.
8. Hold Conversations
I’ve had the good fortune of traveling on many occasions with passionate people who are highly knowledgeable on many interesting things. Don’t even think of getting people like that in one place together for hours or days and just letting them chat with their seat-mates. Encourage bus-long conversations about whatever is interesting to them. Often, it may be something you’ve seen or plan to see. Just don’t let the bus be mute.
9. Provide Bonus Bus Items
None of these things are essential, but they all enhance a trip, in roughly this order of importance:
Power Outlets
Phones, tablets, laptops, and cameras all need to be charged if you’re providing us with enough opportunities to answer “yes” to the Three Big Questions.
Air Conditioning
Nothing transforms travelers into an angry hornet’s nest of dissent faster than a steady diet of drive-bys… unless it’s a malfunctioning air conditioner. You don’t want travelers sweaty and surly.
Comfortable Seats
Inducing physical pain for a hundred miles ranks right up there with sweat in annoying your travelers. Doing better than a Greyhound chair generates lots of goodwill. Doing significantly worse for the opposite effect.
WIFI
Yes, many of us have tablets with cellular service, but we’d much rather use yours. A bus with no free WIFI isn’t quite as undesirable as a hotel room with no WIFI… yet.
10. Get the Right Tour Guide
I’ve opened and closed this list with the two most important items… and this is the toughest one because while most people can become better editors if they set their minds to it, most people simply cannot become better tour guides, no matter how hard they try. I couldn’t do it… no doubt about that. Nor could most other people. The core attribute of a great tour guide is the ability to fuss at people as they’ll unavoidably have to do from time to time, yet leave the people loving them. There are a number of personality trait combinations that can be used to achieve this, but this is the silver bullet result you want in a great tour guide.